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The “Goodbye Michael” episode is coming on tonight and I didn’t realize how sad I’d be about Steve Carrell leaving until now. Now I know it’s not worth getting worked up over a TV show of fictional characters but I have been tearing up as every episode that’s been played this year passes on. I can’t handle it! The Office has been my favorite show for 3 years now and to not have Michael Scott as the Regional Manager……it’s just not right.

I mean, I’d watch The Office when I get home from school while I eat Chef Boyardee  ravioli. I’d watch it late on Friday nights because I couldn’t record it the day before. I’d watch it while I eat breakfast during the summertime. My love for The Office has started countless conversations with people, and I get this sense of happiness and pride when I hear someone make a joke from The Office and I understand it. I LOVE seeing random people wearing a Dunder Mifflin Shirt around school- I’ve creeped some people out by excitedly telling them how much I love their shirt. I was almost 3-hole punch paper for Halloween this year!

Now this sounds like The Office is ENDING, when really it’s just Steve Carrell/Michael Scott leaving but it might as well! I cannot picture Dunder Mifflin/Saber Scranton without Michael Scott. Jim and Pam’s relationship won’t be the same. Dwight won’t be the same. Erin won’t be the same. Even Stanley won’t be the same! I’m so upset and sad and angry and frustrated right now, it doesn’t even make sense. Jim and Pam’s wedding was so special and tear-jerking to me BECAUSE of Michael Scott. Dwight is funny because of Michael Scott. I can’t believe how upset I am.

To this day, after being on Tumblr for 1 1/2 years now, following 3 Office blogs and liking 3114 posts, every single page of liked posts have at least 1 Office gif/quote/picture/screencap on it. I bought an XXL Dunder Mifflin Tshirt at Good Will in the Men’s section  because I couldn’t give up the chance of buying the shirt. I didnt’ know when I’d come across a Dunder Mifflin shirt again…and yes I did realize at the time I could never ever wear it outside of my house without seeming foolish.

In the back of my head, I’m still hoping and thinking that this has all been one big prank and that Michael Scott isn’t leaving to Colorado and Steve Carrell is staying.

An invention I have a really hard time loving/hating at the same time is Photoshop. I mean, how are you truly supposed to “believe what you see” with Photoshop invading our lives and media? The idea of “seeing and believing” has grown obsolete and I’m just angry because this thing called Photoshop has made me a much more cynical person. The instinct reaction I have when I see a stunning or incredibly “impossible” picture is, “Oh, that’s just photoshopped”. Now it’s come to the point where I have a hard time accepting the fact there are truly miraculous moments going on in the world somewhere. 

I set low expectations for most things in life-one emotion I know I have an incredibly hard time dealing with is disappointment.

I can’t say it’s the most optimistic way of seeing things, but by doing so, I’m forced to appreciate a lot more than just the finer things in life. I think I’m very blessed. 

Also, I think I’ve experienced a lot more happy times in my life than others because of my tendency to not expect so much. See the problem is, when people expect too much out of anything, they become so disillusioned by what they think could’ve, should’ve, would’ve happened, and there’s only room for disappointment. I don’t want to be a Jay Gatsb-James Gatz.

I’ve been into transparent and cut-out clothing (not necessarily combined) lately and what bothers me is that I cannot go out of the house wearing either…You know, it’d start some whispering among my mother’s friends and/or detention at school. I cannot wait for summer nights where I’m free to wear as I please!

I’m noticing that my priorities and their levels of importance are shifting…and I think I like it. 

Then:

1. School

2. Family

3. Health

4. Self-Happiness

5. Social Life

6. Interests (ex: music, TV, movies)

Now:

1. Family, Health, Social Life, Self-happiness, Interests

2. School

This may or may not work out towards my future. But whichever future I’m being led to, I know I’m going to have a fantastic time getting there.