""

I want to squeeze everything out of what life has to offer. I’m going to travel and study abroad and listen to good music and eat good food and cook good food and study what I want to learn more about and and make my own clothes and watch old movies and bike in the morning and learn other languages and befriend interesting people.

Probably one of the best feelings to have is having a specific food/snack/dessert you’re excited to eat later. THE childhood snack for me was Hot Cheeto Fries- the only reason I wanted to have a driver’s license when I was young was so I can drive to 7Eleven to buy my own bags of Hot Fries without my parents stopping me- and my whole day would turn around if I knew I had half a bag of Hot Fries waiting for me at home.

I love food and music and cupcakes and my bed and the beautiful sweater one of my best friends surprised me with today and clothes and the Christmas season and shopping and my dark brown boots and my family and my friends and food.

What a fabulous day!

I used to think that saying “fabulous” made me sound ridiculous, spoiled, and fruity, but it’s been a favorite word of mine for a while! It’s so much more effective than “great” or “awesome”. Isn’t it sad how “awesome” means something so much bigger and greater than what the word actually implies? I mean, we use the word so much that the meaning is just as bland as just “great”. I love words.

ELITE is not ELITE ELITE is not ELITE ELITE is not ELITE ELITE is not ELITE

ELITE is not ELITE ELITE is not ELITE ELITE is not ELITE ELITE is not ELITE

ELITE is not ELITE ELITE is not ELITE ELITE is not ELITE ELITE is not ELITE

ELITE is not ELITE ELITE is not ELITE ELITE is not ELITE ELITE is not ELITE

ELITE is not ELITE ELITE is not ELITE ELITE is not ELITE ELITE is not ELITE

ELITE is not ELITE ELITE is not ELITE ELITE is not ELITE ELITE is not ELITE

ELITE is not ELITE ELITE is not ELITE ELITE is not ELITE ELITE is not ELITE

ELITE is not ELITE ELITE is not ELITE ELITE is not ELITE ELITE is not ELITE

So I noticed that there is a new means of ending a conversation on Facebook, once we were suddenly able to “like” comments within wall posts/pictures.

You can keep a conversation going with someone, and then you can end the conversation without neccesarily ignoring the other person, but “liking” their comment. It shows that you acknowledge them and what they said, but it often just ends from there.

epiphany!

or a gradual realization, but you get the idea

Has Oscar Meyer ever won an Oscar? Or Emmy Rossum ever win an Emmy? HAS TONY HAWK EVER WON A TONY?

I’m taking a break from memorizing the history of America for Zoeey Deschanel/ Emma Stone and just rant really quickly about … insecurity.

Honestly, I think one of the most ANNOYING things in the world is insecurity. Or, being insecure, it’s not a choice, but to be constantly reminding people of how insecure they are is just plain irritating. It’s basically complaining about a part of yourself that we don’t need to know! Whether its physical, social, maybe even emotional, I think complaining about something that cannot be changed other than you yourself doing something about is just really unnecessary. 

Which reminds me of my annoyance with blurred out/ photoshopped photos. YES, I’m being contradictory here with the “I hate hating on the Internet” but this I think ties more into how people see themselves. When there are ugly or not-as-attractive candid pictures of yourself, PLEASE don’t get all insecure; I say deal with it! If anything, it makes you as a person look much better in person than it does online. People would think “Oh, she/he is much better looking than I thought she’d be!”. This is so much better than having photoshopped, high contrast lighting, cutesy angles and faces with no acne/flaws and have people think “Oh…………they look way better online.” or “Wow, I guess she/he is uglier than I thought”.

Who honestly cares what you look like in ONE photo in ONE part of your online life? I don’t, and while I can say that in the past I’ve caught myself getting worried over the exact things I just ranted about, I’m trying hard to distance myself with how I think I should look in a completely different world.

I’m just saying, I’d rather people be pleasantly surprised with the way I look than disappointed.

I hate the Internet! I hate distractions! I hate procrastination! I hate Physics! I hate the hot weather! I hate the Internet!

But most of all, I hate Physics. Why do I even capitalize “physics”?

physics.

DEGRADE DEGRADE DEGRADE DEGRADE

okay bye now

I’m so glad I’ve changed. It may not be noticeable to everyone around me, but I feel completely different than how I did even a few months ago. I can’t say I’m proud of how I thought and acted, in the past, and I hate that I’m able to label myself for how I used to be. I’m still working on myself, and it’s a gradual process. I think the change I’m noticing is how….I see people. And how I feel about priorities, relationships, and the differences people have. 

It’s like that one song “Who I Am Hates Who I’ve Been” -RELIENT K